Bill and Madhuri
If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;
these could be the caption in Newspapers:
* Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
* English Babu Desi Mem.
* Brain marries Beauty!?
* Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke
Ooo Windows mein Bill hai
* The next version of Windows will be
* Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.
* Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual
* Bill to count his millions & billions
in EK, DO, TEEN..
* Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain
* Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
* Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...
* Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu
I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
(beech, beech = middle, middle)
Open the windows and let the atmosphere come
"Why are you naat filupping the blanks
Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law
"Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The
president is rotating outside"
"Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur
"Open the windows, open the windows, let
the climate come in"
Advice to father thinking about whether he
should let his daughter
continue her studies or get her married :
"Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu
marry her, then marry her ."
Prof to students hanging around the corridors
during exams :
"Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations"
"Don't talk like that in front of my
"Dont stand in front of my back"
"Louly hair cutting. Hair cutting,
current drying. No shock."
"Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju .
"Repeat again please!"
"Mistake became wrong!"
Did you cut the tickets for the film,
Pliss, close the fan!
He/she's my cousin brother/sister
He/she's my co-brother/sister
Galatfehmi ka shikar hona:: to be
hunted down by misunderstanding.
Izzat ko mitti me milana:: To mix one's
honor in mud
Meri izzat ki naak cut gayee:: My
honors' nose has been chopped off
Kiske saath moonh kaala kiya? :: Who
have you blackened your face with?
naak mein dum karna:: to strengthen the
An instructor explaining the working of
"Take an elephant of negligible weight"
heard in kitchen: No, No I
don't need chair i can stand eating
It's so hot! Please on the fan no.
Instructor: "Take a copper wire of
any metal...and pour a liquid solution of
sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any
A gardener scolding three kids :
"Both of u three, don't under-stand the
"Open the doors of the window, and
let the atmosphere come in "
Pune'ites, and Bombay'ites will
understand this - "This is not
"You three, both of you kneel down
"There is no wind in the ball
"Run with the fence"
"Look at the line on your
back" (falling in line)
"Apply Apply, No reply"
"Why aren't you kneel
If you talk, I'll kneel down
(Always wished he would, but found out that, that's not what he meant)
Cuckoo, Blaady (Kick you, bloody...)
The principal just passed away.
Who took out the breeze of my cykill.
Meet me behind the class (meant after
My cykill is understanding the tree.
Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come
Om Jai Computer Baba,
Swami Jai Computer Baba
Client logon ke sankat
Tu hi door karta. !!Om!!
H1 Tune Dilaya,
US Tune Pahunchaya.
Sunneyvale Ho Ya Fremont,
"ABCD" Har Jagah Hi Paya. !!Om!!
Oracle Ho Ya Sybase,
Sabka Beda Paar Ho Jata.
Programmer Ho Ya DBA,
Koi Waapis Na Ja Pata. !!Om!!
Tujh Bin Calculation Na Howe,
Tujh Bin Program Na Howe,
Tujh Bin Kuchh Na Ho Pata,
Swaami "CORE DUMP" Nahin Jata. !!Om!
Yeh Computer Baba Ki Aarti
Jo Koi Nar Gata,
Uska H1 Bhi Jaldi Se
PATTA" Ban Jata. !!Om!!
to Bettering Made Easy
In the 27th
year of Independence, I interviewed a young man at the court where he was accompanied by
cops. He said he was happy that in our 27th year of freedom, he was free to better himself
to the best of his abilities.
are your abilities?"
too modest to talk about it-especially in the presence of these cops!"
have an idol?"
my aged grand father-once a freedom fighter."
he your idol?"
just love his lifestyle. All he does the whole day is eat, sleep, relax and watch
hold a job?"
feel a deep concern for others. Why should I deprive another young man from a job?"
course, I do. I'm in sales."
do you sell?"
I started by selling off our own household items. Now I sell what I find in other people's
what's in a name? If we all made an effort to better ourselves, we as a country would be
places like the police station, court and prison. Do you work as hard every day?"
night, yes. Can I help it? I'm a workaholic!"
people react to you-particularly when they come to know your interesting profession?"
modest, publicity-shy person. I try to avoid the searchlight and keep a low profile. But
my work gets its due recognition and this draws a lot of attention to me. Strangers want
to know where I live and what's my name."
so they can find you a suitable match?"
they can tell the police."
how do the cops treat you?"
how does the public treat you if you happen to be caught in the act?"
always get the best treatment."
I'd think they'd send you to a hospital intensive care unit."
do and that's where I get the best treatment."
have any idealistic notions about the wonderful work you do? Do you imagine you're taking
away from the rich to give it back to the needy?"
did hand over my loot to a needy person. That was just before the cops chasing me caught
up with me. So they had to let me go."
about today? Are you going to jail?"
court has not found you guilty?"
has. But the prison can't accommodate me. It's already overcrowded."
aren't you ashamed to be here in court?"
should I be? The judges, lawyers and cops come here everyday!"